I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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