I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
