96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
