I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
