my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
