i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
