My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
