So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
