I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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