MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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