Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We just shotgunned beers for America
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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