Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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