Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
