I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize