youre lurking in front of me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
