I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
