I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize