i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
