Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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