Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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