if you like me you must not know who I am
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's just like the Real World with babies
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
