3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
