He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
