I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
