cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize