Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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