i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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