You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
