Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize