Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize