Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
