no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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