I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
