I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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