Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
