he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
