So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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