Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
