Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
