I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
