She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This is classic penis vs brain.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize