Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
