dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
