i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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