I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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