for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think your dad took our porno
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
