plz talk dirty to me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
