Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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