come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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