Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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