How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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