is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
