There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
