Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He has the fingertips of a God
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