We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
