I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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