I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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