I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We had to coat check the pizza.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
