Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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