i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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