I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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